Sex Offender
We Recently Received A Sex Offender Notification, What Should We Tell Our Young Child?
Explain the concept of "tricky people" to your child. "Tricky People" may try to manipulate them into certain "situations or actions." They may try to touch children in their bathing suit areas. You may show them the photograph of the offender and explain that this is a tricky person and if the tricky person tries to talk to them they should take three steps back and run like the wind the way the Yello Dyno program instructs them to. Further, if they see the tricky person they should let you or another adult know. Some parents will unfortunately give their children misinformation and you want to be sure that any rumors your child is hearing at school are corrected. For example, after a sex offender notification was implemented in a school one 8-year-old child reported to another that her mom got a note at home about a lunatic let loose in the area. As unfortunate as it is, that child's parents missed an opportunity to provide specific information and instill skills that could potentially help that child.
Explain what boundaries are to your child. Boundaries are the limits we establish or may already be established by virtue of the nature of each individual relationship. For example, Coach M has a role and it is to teach a child a certain sport. Teacher has a role as well. Their job is to instruct children in academic matters. Any activity outside the realm of the boundary established must be evaluated and discussed with an adult.
The blurring of boundaries is often what sex offenders who groom children rely upon so please be aware of those boundaries at all times.
One way to do this is to ask yourself the questions, Why? Why does Coach X, Pastor Y or Doctor Z want to be alone with my child? Why should my child be receiving special treatment? Why is this person interested in my child?
What Are Behavioral/Physical Indicators Of Sexual Abuse?
Not all of the following indicators will mean that your child has been victimized. Some behaviors listed can be part of normal development or stress. The greater the number of indicators present and the more sudden the onset, the more reason you have to be concerned. Physical evidence in genital or rectal areas must be taken seriously and treated immediately.
- A Fear Of Certain Places, People, or Activities, Especially Being Alone With Certain People (Children should never be forced or coerced into giving affection)
- Disturbed Sleep/Frequent Nightmares
- Sudden Mood Swings, Withdrawal, Rage, Fear, Anger
- Loss Of Appetite, or Trouble Eating or Swallowing
- Drastic Change In School Performance
- Sexually Acting Out On Younger Children
- Sexual Behavior or Knowledge Beyond Their Years
- Has New Words For Private Body Parts
- Reverting Back To Outgrown Behavior (bedwetting/thumbsucking)
- Difficulty Walking or Sitting
- Pain, Itching, Bleeding Fluid or Rawness In The Private Areas
Is most childhood sexual abuse committed by strangers?
No. Strangers are not the most common perpetrators of sexual abuse. Most children are sexually abused by someone known or related to them, often in a position of trust or authority. Studies indicate that no more than 10% to 30% of sex offenders were strangers, meaning that up to 90% of children sexually abused had some type of relationship with their abuser.
Children are abused most often by someone that they know such as a relative, the best liked coach, the pillar of the community, pediatrician, teacher, scout leader or religious leader. Tricky people look just like you and me but try to manipulate our children into certain actions or situations.
What can I do to help prevent my child from being sexually abused or abducted?
Establish and explain healthy boundaries with your child and explain that people have certain roles. For example their music teacher teaches them music, sports coach teaches sports. It is important to be aware and understand the limits or boundaries of those relationships.
Educate yourself and your children as to the "tricks" that perpetrators use to lure and/or groom children. "Stranger Danger" child prevention education is outdated and does not address the reality that most children have an established relationship with the abuser or abductor. The National Center For Missing and Exploited Children stress the importance of educating children using clear, calm, reasonable messages about situations and actions to look out for instead of confusing profiles or images of strangers. The Yello Dyno program educates children about "tricky people" who establish relationships with children or their families for the primary purpose of abusing them.
Incarcerated pedophiles tell us to be suspicious if someone seems more interested in your children than you. One convicted offender said that "parents are so naive-they're worried about strangers and should be worried about their brother-in-law. They just don't realize how devious we can be." Another offender told parents that they should "know that we will use any way we can to get to children."
Always monitor your children while they are on the internet and stress the importance of never giving out their name and address.
If I know of an offender that is not in your database, should I contact you?
Yes! Please contact the Criminal Investigations Unit at (405) 359-4424.
